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How to put yourself and what to say to immediately attract others – Lifestyle

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Why make a first impression is very important

Try to remember your brightest vacation, trip, journey. Close your eyes: the sound of the waves, the rumble of the streets, the rustle of sand under your feet, the clink of glasses, the chirping of cicadas, the wind touching your skin and teasing your hair…

It’s the same with people – everyone leaves the same aftertaste, and in some cases it looks like an expensive gourmet drink, and in others – like juice from a cardboard box. This is the feeling you will be remembered with when someone mentions your name in a conversation.

You may recall the famous quote that you “will not have a chance to make a first impression a second time.” But let’s dig a little deeper: the first impression is the foundation of your reputation, personal brand and your success.

Today it is necessary to make the first impression not only at personal communication. Modern realities are such that in social networks we “meet” hundreds of people every day – it is impossible to realize this in real life. To make a first impression means to be remembered with words, gestures, manner and presentation of information, to convey certain values ​​and to get into the heart of your audience.

What is the halo effect and how it works

The first impression is not about clothes, as is commonly thought. In psychology, there is the concept of the halo effect or the halo effect. When you appear in a new space in front of new people, your image is read and “painted” according to certain characteristics.

For example, a person declares that he is a millionaire coach, but appears before his interlocutors in trampled boots or a crumpled jacket, which is definitely not made of linen, which would justify his rumple. Or he says that he is an expert with vast experience of speeches, but in his speech there is a lot of moaning and word-parasites.

The halo effect helps save time and quickly understand who is in front of us. At first glance, we feel something, understand something about the person, hang labels on him and move on. On the one hand, this is bad, as high-class experts and professionals in their field can produce an anti-impression due to their inability to present themselves.

On the other hand, the halo effect can be made to work on itself. We know that people are used to trusting more confident, deep, strong voices. This means that you need to work on your speech to sound more convincing. Do not play someone and do not pretend, but adjust your voice and reveal its reserves.

Another point: if it is known that in a given society it is customary to read certain books or use certain speech expressions, then this cultural field must be taken into account.

How do strangers perceive us?

When you appear in the field of view of a new audience, people read information about you in four directions:

· Visual – how you look, how well you fit into the event and fit the audience. Women are more likely to pay attention to brands, men – to details, such as shoes or watches.

· Audible – the way you speak speaks, how your voice sounds – the strength of sound, intonation, delivery, the way you build sentences. Women, for example, will distinguish a mother’s son from an alpha male by one word “hello”. We perceive voices at the animal level because the voice is hormone dependent. The more testosterone, the lower the voice, and the one who has a lot of testosterone – strong, confident, healthy. This is true for both men and women.

· Semantic – what exactly you say, how much you are in tune with the audience and whether your information corresponds to the values ​​of your listeners. Before any meeting, you should find out what kind of people they will be and what you can and should talk to them to impress them.

· Emotional – depending on the combined action of all factors, which determines whether the interlocutors will communicate with you further.

What spoils the impression?

There are several factors whose presence can seriously spoil the impression. Here are just a few of them.

· Mismatch of image and situation: in clothing or speech, for example, the use of “strong” words in the audience, where it is not accepted. So you immediately lose points, become cheaper as an expert, and it will take a lot of time and effort to restore this trust.

· Fussy gestures, when you literally do not know where to go.

· Lack of eye contact and running eyes: It is very important for people to talk to them, not to speak to them or read them a report.

· Hasty speech: if you are worried and start to rattle, you start to make a lot of mistakes in speech. In addition, the voice may begin to sound loud – and such a voice is associated with “smallness” and uncertainty.

What common mistakes do people make when trying to please?

Trying to please is the most common mistake. It is better to tune in and try, no matter how difficult it may be, to enjoy the process and take the maximum from this performance, meeting or acquaintance.

To do this, choose an outfit in which you feel great. Rehearse your speech, if there is such an opportunity, just to hear how it will sound. Think about what kind of impression you would like to make, and play a little, enter the role of a character who is close and interesting to you, such as a film actor. Stay a little Marilyn Monroe or, for example, Marilyn Streep, try this image on yourself, think about how you would act in it in a given situation. It will change your attitude towards yourself and give you a new experience. Of course, you will not become a different person, but you will be able to recharge the energy of the chosen character – it helps a lot.

Another common mistake is to pull the blanket over yourself. Be aggressive, be intrusive, start selling something from the first words. In addition, when a person really wants to be liked, it is quite noticeable in a flattering tone, haste and other signs – the audience is usually “not coming”, this behavior is repulsive. Other popular mistakes are insecurity in the work of the body, chewing sounds, stuttering when choosing words that should “amaze everyone”.

My simple recommendation: try to talk to the audience. The clearer you speak, the more correct. You don’t have to amaze the audience and use complex words and turns if you see that it’s not going well in the company you’re in.

What do you need to do to get people to feel sympathy?

The first – listen carefully and ask questions. There are closed questions that can be answered unequivocally only “yes” or “no”, and open, the answer to which can be quite extensive – why? how are you how do you feel Such issues are conducive to the continuation of the dialogue.

The second – call the interlocutor by name, it helps to establish contact, as a person is usually very pleased to hear when his name is pronounced.

Third – a smile. There is even the concept of “talking on a smile”: the corners of the lips are slightly raised, which makes the voice more voluminous, and the speech itself – more benevolent.

The ability to attract strangers from the first minutes is a skill that is based on the inner human basis. If a person has difficulty with self-esteem, he suffers from the imposter’s syndrome, it will be very difficult to impress him. It is always useful to understand yourself, understand your value and strengths. Once you become the highest value for yourself, you will serve and carry yourself not imposing, but with pride and love, showing that meeting and communicating with you will be really useful for people and may even change their lives.

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